Daniel Jackson and the Stargate of Doom
by Assthorn
Summary: Daniel Jackson finds himself on a different version of earth than the one he's familiar with, and has to battle Nazis, snakes and other deadly adversaries in order to find the gate and get home. Daniel Jackson/Indiana Jones crossover slashfic.


"I don't understand it," Sam said, staring alternately at the computer screen and the stargate, "Daniel was right behind us."

"Is this another one of those alternate universe... thingies?" Jack asked.

"I don't know, sir."

"I don't understand it," Daniel would have liked to say to himself. Unfortunately he was rather busy running for his life at the moment. He turned a sharp corner and slid to an abrupt halt. There was some dirty guy holding a something wrapped in an equally dirty rag in his hands.

"I hate Nazis," the man muttered, shifting his grip on the bundle and reaching for his gun.

Daniel's hands immediately shot straight up, "I'm not a Nazi!" he could hear footsteps and shouting getting closer all the time, so he did what any sensible person would do and hauled ass.

The dirty guy hesitated a moment, then followed. He caught up to Daniel, then grabbed him roughly by the shirt and hauled him through a door that lead to a broom closet. It was fairly spacious for a broom closet, but it certainly wasn't designed to accommodate two fully grown men.

"Who the Hell are you?" Dirty guy hissed.

"Dr. Daniel Jackson. Who are you?"

"Dr. Indiana Jones."

They stood for a second, staring at each other in the near total darkness. Finally, "You're not a Nazi, are you?"

"No," Daniel said slowly, "Are you?"

"Well what are you doing here?" Indiana demanded, ignoring Daniel's question.

"I don't know. Where is here?"

"Germany."

"On Earth, right?"

Indiana gave Daniel a whithering look.

"Ok, so I've either been sent to an alternative reality by accident, or there's an underground Nazi movement on earth that has a stargate."

Indiana continued to stare at Daniel.

"What's that?" Daniel asked, pointing to the package Indiana was still holding.

"A priceless artifact," Indiana said tersely.

"What're you doing with it?"

"Taking it to a museum. Where it belongs."

"Oh," Daniel said, then, "Can I see?"

Indiana hesitated a second, then unwrapped the object.

"Um," Daniel said, looking at the Saskatchewan shaped slab, "do you know what this is?"

"Not exactly. Looking at the markings it might be Egyptian, though."

Daniel couldn't see the markings, and, after listening for footsteps in the hall, he took out his penlight and shined the narrow beam onto the artifact. It was a button to a dialing device, specifically, the A-shaped one that represented Earth. Daniel was about to ask Indiana where he had gotten that when he heard someone should 'In here!' in German.

Indiana grabbed the penlight, flashing it around the room while Daniel fumbled to lock the door. Why a broom closet would have a lock on it was beyond Daniel, but it was a Nazi complex so he supposed it didn't have to make sense. He was leaning against the door while Indiana was using a broom to poke at an air vent. He got the cover off, jumped and grabbed the edge and neatly climbed inside.

"Come on," he stuck his hand out of the vent. Daniel grabbed it and squirmed uncerimoniously into the vent. Indiana replaced the cover, which he had poked inside the vent, and he and Daniel froze.

"It's empty. Fool, they could be anywhere by now!"

"Don't suppose you know German, do you?"

"Actually, I do."

"Are you sure you're not a Nazi?"

"Wouldn't I have turned you in if I was?"

"Come on," Indiana said, turning away and crawling down the vent, "Let's get out of here."

"Wait, no, I have to get back to the Stargate."

"The what?"

"It's a big ring, it's-- that's how I got here and I won't be able to get home without it."

"Suit yourself," Indiana grumbled as he crawled away.

"Wait!" Daniel scrambled after him, "I'm going to need the artifact, it's part of the gate."

"If you think I came all the way down here to hand this over to you you're crazier than you look."

"I look crazy?"

"Well," Indiana looked over his shoulder, "Not really. So it wouldn't be hard for you to be crazier than you look. Come on, let's get out of here and then we'll talk about finding your Stargate. They're on their guard, now, you won't be able to get anywhere near it."

"So you know what I'm talking about?"

"Maybe. Come on."

Daniel followed Indiana as the crawled for what felt like miles, sometimes climbing up vertical shafts (with the help of Indiana's whip) until they finally emerged in a field.

"It really was an underground Nazi organization," Daniel said to himself.

"Well, yeah, "Indiana said, stretching. "Come on, let's get something to eat."

Daniel sighed, and once again followed Indiana. They came to a road and Indiana flagged down a passing car and they hitched a ride into town, Daniel playing translator. From the make of the car and the conversation with its driver Daniel saw that he might be on earth, but it certainly wasn't his version of earth. Had he traveled back in time again? If that was the case he may well never get back to where he was suppose to be.

"Why the long face?" Indiana asked as he collapsed into the bed in their hotel room.

"I thought this was an alternate reality, which would have been difficult, but manageable. But I think I actually traveled back in time and I don't know how I'm going to get home now."

Indiana cackled, "You really are crazy!"

"At least I don't go crawling around Nazi infested caves stealing stuff! And you call that Egyptian? Where did you learn your history from, Sesame Street?"

"I'll have you know I'm an archaeology professor."

"I'll have you know I am too. Or was, rather."

"What, did they kick you out for being crazy?"

"No, I got a better offer. Anyway, the point is that isn't Egyptian, it's alien, and I'm going to need it to get back home. If I can get home. Maybe this is just an alternate reality that is earlier in the timeline? Then I maybe I'm not stuck here."

"You keep talking but nothing you say makes any sense," Indiana yawned and closed his eyes.

"Whatever," Daniel muttered and slouched into the bathroom to wash up.

When he came out Indiana was fast asleep, sprawled over the double bed. Daniel was tired too, but he didn't want to sleep on the floor so he wriggled under the covers, shoving Indiana's arm out to the way and curling up on his side.

"Snakes!"

"Argh!" Daniel woke with a jolt as and found himself in a dark hotel room, with a smelly, dirty guy clinging to him for dear life. "Snakes? Where?"

"I... I..." and suddenly Indiana was no longer in the bed, or even the same side of the room, "What the Hell are you doing there?"

"I was sleeping," Daniel said pointedly, "If you think I'm sleeping on the floor after crawling through air ducts and walking for miles you are sadly mistaken."

Indiana stood there, blinking in the darkness for a few minutes before he sighed, took off his shoes and belt and lay back down, as far away from Daniel as he could get.

The both we back to sleep.

"Nazis!"

"God," Daniel said, "What is your problem?"

"I have nightmares, Ok?"

"Well go back to sleep."

"But..."

"But what? Do you need me to tuck you in a kiss you goodnight?" Daniel asked irritably.

Indiana didn't say anything for a moment, but then he suddenly rolled over, pinning Daniel to the bed and kissed him hard on the mouth. He didn't exactly smell like a bed of roses and his stubble scraped uncomfortably against Daniel's skin.

Daniel kissed back anyway.

Indiana then rolled off him and went back to sleep.


End file.
